Sometimes during an argument my partner makes me just want to run screaming out of the room. And sometimes I feel like if I do that I might just continue running screaming down the road and never return. In that moment, it’s like I just don’t understand him. And then, a short while later, it’s as if I had simply experienced temporary insanity, everything returns to normal and I wonder why I was so upset and frustrated.
Then one day I learnt something that changed my outlook on these situations forever. The 20 minute rule. Apparently, it takes your body (so we are talking physically here, not emotionally) at least 20 minutes to return to a calm, balanced state after you have had an argument with someone. And it is so true. I can be one crazy person in that moment and a mere 20 minutes later I am once again a person that you may even describe as sane.
So that’s my rule now. If I have an argument with my partner, I don’t try and sort it out NOW. I give it 20 minutes. All of a sudden things are back in perspective and there is much less risk of me saying something regrettable that I can never take back. So simple and yet so live-changing.
Temporary: for a short time/not forever
Sane: not crazy